I had a chance to take care of a friend’s cat, WoTou (he’s named after a rustic Chinese dim sum in caramel color). And wanted to share what I learned about being an animal parent and building relationships.
- Becoming aware of craving for sense of control. I want to know exactly and precisely about what WoTou is doing in every minute - whether it is destroying my furniture or making a really cute face. Truth is, I can’t know everything the cat decides to do, he just wouldn’t let me.
- Wanting to know everything about a cat destroys trust, fast. Keeping an eye on the cat might be a quick way to build a wall - since he is also keeping an eye on me.
- Mood is contagious, even between human and cat. After WoTou starts making noises at night which caused me sleep deprivation (I was so concerned that he will damage my favourate vasel and make a huge unexpected noise while everyone else is sound asleep), my patience took a nose dive and I yelled at him. Obviously he will remember this unpleasant encounter for longer than I do - without knowing not to make noises at night.
- Mood is contagious, logic reasoning is not. And a cat will not learn its lesson, unless you’ve established your ethos and make it obvious that dinner will not be on the table unless he behaves.
- A cat’s personality is not defined by anyone’s wish, but time and environment. A cat’s personality is the result of random gene arrangement and its past environment. ****Repeated enough times, he will learn things. But first we need to have the right environment and setting to allow the same thing to be repeated till he learns and behavior changes, before personality can be changed. ****
I’m hoing to apply these lessons when I have my own children.